I am doing great and have been so busy with work, the market, and watching 30 Rock that I have been neglecting the blog.
I love Tina Fey.
Thanks to the great group of people who gave me Netflicks as a gift. It is a tremendous gift and has distracted me from almost everything!
I've now gone through 5 rounds of chemo. I have tolerated it with mixed results but mostly positive. I have learned that there is a big difference between 300 and 400mg for me and have fully realized the importance of staying emotionally and psycologically resilient during treatment. I tolerate the 300 with almost no side effects. 400 really puts me on my back but I can deal with it. It is a lot like being altitude sick for those of you who have experienced this. I feel like I could puke at any moment and my head spins with nausea. But I can deal with.
"I can deal with it." That is what I kept telling myself and I really can physically deal with a lot. But mentally it started to drag me down. I started to dread taking my pills and at one point I looked down at the seven or eight pills in my hand and understood how people can say "fuck it, I'm not doing this anymore."
I took the pills but that was a major warning sign and I talked to the oncologist about it. we dropped my dosage and have been trying to find a more "custom" level. I am afforded the luxury of a marathon rather than a sprint and I have to treat it that way. Keeping my mind healthy is really important.
You can't go too far too fast. There is a natural progression which has to play out. By knowing my limits I can be aggressive over the course of the whole fight and not just single battles.
We took an MRI in June and there was no noticeable change to the tumor. This is good. The first step is to stop it from growing. we'll take another scan here in a few weeks to see if we've damaged it any. I'll keep you posted.
