Friday, March 27, 2009

The Golden J

I believe that killing this tumor in my head has to start with me. Any extra help like chemo and radiation is great, but it has to begin with me. This isn't a religious theory but is something which has been demonstrated to me through years of beating my body up. I figure that looking at my diet is the logical first step. Even if its all just placebo I figure that it helps me think I'm killing it which can only help, right?

I believe this goes for a lot of things. We've all heard the story of the guy who was diagnosed and then just watched comedies for 6 months and was miraculously healed. Attitude makes a big difference in everything you do. At least it does for me. So with that I'm introducing the "Golden Js."

The Golden J award represents the highest level of cancer-fighting properties and has been selected by the J Karma Army Golden J Sub-Committee. Each item on this list has been thoroughly screened and tested for quality and results. You can trust that anything you find on this list has the official endorsement of the J Karma Army.

My friend Rob turned me on to an article written by David Servan-Schreiber that I quite like. It is about foods which have proven cancer killing properties. This is for cancer prevention too so check it out even if you don't have cancer. Here it is.

I'll break it down for you because I have switched over to a cancer-killing diet, but it is an official recommendation of the J Karma Army Golden J Sub-committee that you read it. I can hear the little bastards screaming with terror every time I drink a cup of tea.

Please reference the sidebar at right for selections made by the J Karma Army Golden J Sub-committee. These items meet our rigorous standards and have been given the esteemed "Golden J" for their quality in cancer fighting. I personally recommend them.



    These don't have high quality capacity for cancer fighting but are important instructive rules for members of the Karma Army. Maybe you should create a Little Blue Book, Chairman Maonke.

    Official Snub: Thanks though.

    Official Secondary Challenge: Not being able to hear when they call your name at the blood lab.

    Official Foes: Bottom Callers, CNBC, Head Staples, Mumblers, Constant Contact Filters, Seizures, Mice, Wikipedia, Swollen Toes

    Official Arch Enemies: Nay Sayers, Duke, Cancer

    Official Social Capital Investment Broker: My Colorado Project (This has Golden J potential!)

    Official Uniform: Karma Army Gear or Tear-Away UNC Warm-Up Sweats

    Official MASH Unit: KP (Jason can tell you how to get there)

    Official Elliott Wave: Grand Super Cycle Wave 5 Impulse Wave 3

    Official Lucky Numbers: Fibonacci, baby!

    Official Brewery: Odell Brewing Company

    Official Documentary: King of Kong

    Official Banned Snack: Toffee

    Official Quitting Time: 3:45

  2. Wow, I am excited to see that I am part of the official sub-committee. Quite an honor, especially to be serving alongside a glow in the dark ninja.

    I would agree with Alyssa's assessment on the official snub. She should most definitely be a co-chair of the sub-committee. Or, she could be the Community Shares Section Chair. Something more than official driver, Jason!

  3. Title suggestions:

    CEO Section Representative
    Chief Executive Official
    Under 10lb Animal Section Spokesperson
    LGBT Section Spokeslesbian
    Coach Kopf

    Something really classy...

  4. I would like to reiterate that it is not ME who makes the decisions around here. The sub-committee is in charge and if you're already on it or off it I can't do anything about it except maybe put a good word in for you with Ninja - he's the one I have the most interaction with. Spokeslesbian is pretty good though and I've already texted Ninja with that recommendation...

  5. ATTN: Golden J

    The Montana contingent of Sarah, Jesse and Ripley Berwald humbly ask the committee for recognition as the _official_ Montana Section Representatives.

    Also, may I suggest:

    Official Teahouse: The place at the west(?) end of the main drag in Kashgar

    Official Full-grown dog: Ripley (he's kinda far away, so he'd understand if this is taken by a mutt closer to home)

    Official Format: Large (this refers to photography, not your arse size, amigo ;-) )


  6. It took a little while but the JKA Golden J subcommittee has recognized the gentleman with the request for a Montana section. The Berwald contingent is hereby recognized with voting rights in the JKA.

    - Thank you for writing the Golden J

  7. Vincent would like to make his case for Official Cat. His attributes/accomplishments include, missing one ear, no teeth, pet food recall survivor, and coolest cat in the world.

  8. The Tabby cat from Golden is hereby recognized as the Golden J official cat. Mr. Vince is the ultimate survivor and my very good friend.


Thanks for your comments!